Oakland County's sheriff posts a news release late Wednesday afternoon that sounds like a tabloid newspaper editor's fantasy.
The headline says: "Home Inspector Caught on Camera Pleasuring Himself Using an 'Elmo' Doll During Home Inspection is Charged."
Sheriff Michael Bouchard comments bluntly as he shares it on Facebook: "Just when you think you cannot be surprised, someone hits a new level of disgusting."
Below is part of what his agency says:
A Clarkston man who was unwittingly recorded during a home inspection allegedly pleasuring himself with an Elmo doll was arraigned today on two misdemeanor counts in ... Rochester Hills.
Kevin Wayne VanLuven, 59, was arraigned on charges of aggravated indecent exposure and malicious destruction of property under $200.
... VanLuven was arrested today without incident by members of the Sheriff’s Office Fugitive Apprehension Team. His arrest stems from a March 12 incident at the home of an Oxford Township couple who were having their home inspected by VanLuven prior to its sale at the request of the prospective buyers.
The couple told detectives they let VanLuven and the buyer’s real estate agent into their home and left during the inspection. A nursery camera alerted the phone of the 22-year-old female homeowner that there was movement in the nursery. She checked her phone and allegedly saw VanLuven in the nursery.
As she continued to watch, he allegedly began touching himself and she began recording the incident. VanLuven then picked up the doll from the nursery floor and appeared to be pleasuring himself with the doll. He then returned it to its original location.
Deputies were summoned to the home. During questioning, VanLuven said he moved the doll to inspect an electrical outlet but did nothing else. When told there was a camera in the nursery, VanLuven allegedly made incriminating statements and apologized.
Yes, we agreee -- eww. (A 12-second video excerpt below mercifully omits the gross part.)
The defendant, due back in district court April 19, faces up to two years in prison and a $2,000 fine if convicted on the exposure count.
Magistrate Karen Holt, who set a $2,500 bond, ordered VanLuven not to be alone in any residence that isn't his, to have no contact with the victims and is to have a mental health evaluation.
The release quotes Bouchard as adding:
"Sadly, in today’s world we cannot take it on faith that the people we let into our homes can be trusted. We cannot always presume that employers have done their job and have confidence their employees are trustworthy and are there to do the job for which they’ve been hired.
"This is a disgusting reminder to be cautious about who you let into your home. The actions of these homeowners will likely prevent this defendant from going into anyone else's home."